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Election Exhaustion And Women I Love

Posted on Monday, November 14th, 2016

Election Exhaustion And Women I Love I know, I know. We didn’t think he could do it. But he did it. And the country is in an uproar. And more importantly, I am very tired. Are you guys tired? I woke up Wednesday in such an emotionally exhausted state. I was in a foggy haze worse than when I woke up in my hospital room after I had had my first child and saw her in that little baby thing on wheels next to my bed, and I was like “Who the hell is this now, I’m trying to sleep” until it hit me, “Oh yeah, I...

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An Exciting Recommendation From the TV Show Whisperer

Posted on Friday, November 11th, 2016

An Exciting Recommendation From the TV Show Whisperer Three things I am not afraid to admit: 1. I Love Barry Manilow. I still cry when Ready to Take A Chance Again plays on my ipod as I am pulling into Publix. 2. Sometimes I only PRETEND to turn up the resistance on my spin bike and then act like it’s super hard to pedal and 3. I am addicted to TV. Not only am I addicted,  I am actually sort of like a TV Show Whisperer. My friends will text me, “Help! Just finished Downton Abby and need a show!” And I can recommend something they will love...

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Labor, Delivery And Then Comes The Hard Part

Posted on Monday, October 24th, 2016

HEY! New mothers! Stop showing us pictures of your “Before Kids” and “After Kids” body. It’s bad enough that I get on Facebook and see my friends going to GooGoo Dolls concerts, wandering the streets of Amsterdam and scuba diving in the Galapagos after I just got done googling “When will season 6 of Veep be out?”  During my morning Facebook session I take an “ARE YOU A CHILD OF THE 70’s QUIZ” and pass with flying colors, then continue...

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Stop The World, Brangelina Is Getting Off

Posted on Thursday, September 22nd, 2016

Stop The World, Brangelina Is Getting Off Oh no! Brangelina. I’ll be honest with you, I was rooting for them. Sure, he broke Jennifer’s heart, and sure she knew she was messing around with a married man, but Jennifer has that adorable Justin Theroux now. She’s okay, just as most women are when they push their way through the pain of adultery and continue on with their lives. So, why not hope that two beautiful people, each at one time voted the most magnificent of their gender, can keep it together? Plus, I love...

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FACE IT. Times Are Changing

Posted on Friday, September 9th, 2016

FACE IT. Times Are Changing Last week, tropical storm Hermine swept through Florida and devastated the homes and lives of thousands. The two people running for the highest political office in the world, were fighting about who is more corrupt, you know, who has lied, cheated and hid the most stuff from the American people.  (One of these people is going to be the leader of the free world folks!) The world lost a great comedic talent in Gene Wilder, the best Willy Wonka ever, not to mention a very nice human being.  And...

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Age Is SO Not Appropriate

Posted on Tuesday, August 16th, 2016

Age Is SO Not Appropriate As of last week, I am officially closer to 60 than I am to 50. This is different from when I turned 36, looking at 40, and had a serious discussion with my friend as to whether or not we should still be wearing mini skirts. We now had daughters and certainly didn’t want to look as though we were trying to compete with them. (Really? They were 10 at the time, so unless we were planning on rocking some jeans from Limited Too…) Yes, this is different from when I turned 46, looking at...

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YOU GOT GAME…JUST GOTTA FIND IT

Posted on Monday, July 25th, 2016

YOU GOT GAME…JUST GOTTA FIND IT When I was interviewing divorce attorneys, I actually had one say to me, “No matter who you hire, the divorce game is a tough one.” “Wow,” I thought. “Divorce GAME. That doesn’t sound too bad. Maybe this won’t be as horrible as I think.” Because, when I think of game, I think of Candy Crush and Scrabble on my iPad, both activities that I enjoy immensely and spend an inordinate amount of time on. So sure, BRING IT. I hired an attorney and the...

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Writing Your Way Through Divorce

Posted on Tuesday, July 12th, 2016

Writing Your Way Through Divorce Ever since my book came out, I have had many women (okay, 3) ask me, “When did you know you were ready to change your life, you know, go in a whole new direction?” What? I had NO IDEA.  That decision was made for me when my husband told me he had decided to make other plans for the rest of his life. At 48 I thought things were pretty much set, we would become empty nesters, do a big vacation once a year and then maybe buy a condo with pool access. Not so fast. When I first began my journey...

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Oh The Places I’ve BIN

Posted on Thursday, June 30th, 2016

Oh The Places I’ve BIN A few years ago, when M and I moved into our house, we rented (and by WE, I mean M) a storage unit for the things we (and by WE, I mean ME) just could not part with, but weren’t sure we had room for. This included an arts and crafts table in case I DID ever get the urge to glue a bunch of tile shards onto plates again, a Mt. Everest sized pile of fake rattan patio furniture, and bins and bins of photos and momentos from the last 40 years of our lives. M was able to pile it all into the...

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YOGAtta Be Kidding Me

Posted on Thursday, June 9th, 2016

YOGAtta Be Kidding Me I love you guys, I know you are trying to help, but if you want to help, bring me an almond brioche from Cassis bakery. Treat me to a month of unlimited Netflix, or better yet Amazon Prime with unlimited video streaming. Take me to get a crunchy tuna bowl at Fresh Kitchen, but…when I tell you I am stressed out, STOP TELLING ME TO DO YOGA! Now, I was born stressed out. I was on a tranquilizer at the age of two because of the fact that I had to stay up all night trying to solve the world’s...

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Surviving the Pomp Under These Circumstances

Posted on Monday, May 23rd, 2016

Surviving the Pomp Under These Circumstances This past weekend, my youngest son graduated from college. The youngest of four, he is the only one who took the traditional college route of a four year degree complete with the cap, the gown, the diploma and the 3 hour ceremony in the blinding Florida sun. Luckily for us this was the FIRST year that his small private school decided to hold the event OUTDOORS and I have to say, what a great idea! Florida is lovely this time of year and who doesn’t love sitting in the middle of a field,...

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Baseball, Hotdogs, Apple Pie and…Why Am I In The Kitchen?

Posted on Tuesday, May 10th, 2016

Baseball, Hotdogs, Apple Pie and…Why Am I In The Kitchen? Okay, here is the question: Why is it I can remember every episode of the Dick Van Dyke Show from 1963 but cannot for the life of me remember why I walked into my kitchen? I can still remember the tune to “Hazel,” (Major crush on Mr. B, by the way.) Yet, I am literally standing in here, staring at my coffeemaker as it stares back at me like, “Dude. What the hell?” I go down my mental list, am I thirsty? No. Am I hungry? Nooo, but as long as I’m in the...

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How To Be Friends With A Writer

Posted on Thursday, April 7th, 2016

How To Be Friends With A Writer I am a writer. Therefore I always have a movie worthy best seller book in progress. (My last book was…SO CLOSE!) Up until last week, I also had a full time job which of course gave me the perfect excuse for why I could not work on my book. You know, “I am so excited about my new book, I just wish I actually had time to work on it” thing we tell people when they ask how it’s going…I would sit at my job, and think I SHOULD be home writing, practicing my craft. You would not...

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Remember Above All…DIGNITY

Posted on Tuesday, March 29th, 2016

Remember Above All…DIGNITY The other day I was reading People Magazine about how great Jen and Ben Affleck are getting along these days after the whole gambling, alleged sex with the nanny and all around dickiness that Ben engaged in. (He was great in Argo,I have to give him that) And I started thinking about my situation because as a writer I’m very narcissistic. I think all writers are because we write things thinking OMG I am so interesting EVERYONE is going to want to read THIS. Then when people DON’T want to...

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You Made Your Bed

Posted on Friday, March 18th, 2016

You Made Your Bed M and I have been together for a few years now and this year we have a lot to celebrate. My son is graduating college, his daughter is getting her Master’s and we finally got new patio furniture. Also, this year M celebrated a very big birthday and I wanted to make it special. Even more special than when I invited everyone to the Melting Pot for fondue, which I thought would be a hoot, and found out that most people do not consider sitting around a table sticking raw meat into recycled...

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It Takes A Village, And Maybe My Ex’s Girlfriend

Posted on Wednesday, February 24th, 2016

It Takes A Village, And Maybe My Ex’s Girlfriend   There are two kinds of people in this world: up people and down people. Up people wake up and think “Yay! Another day for me to forge new horizons, try new things, meet new people!” Down people wake up and say, “Oh MY GOD, it can’t possibly be another day already.” Up people go to the grocery store and upon finding an empty spot where their favorite cereal is supposed to be say, “Oh that’s okay. Now is the perfect time for me to try this new...

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The Lowdown On the Download

Posted on Friday, January 22nd, 2016

The Lowdown On the Download The first book I ever felt the need to hide while reading was Go Ask Alice by Beatrice Sparks. Now this is going back over 40 years, but if I remember correctly it was about a girl who smokes a joint and then becomes a raging slut and heroine addict, which as we know, is what happens to people after they take a hit of pot. (Side note, 20 odd years later I sat down with my daughter, then 13 and gave her the book hoping for a deep mother and daughter discussion. She took one look at it started...

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Doesn’t Play Well With Others

Posted on Thursday, December 24th, 2015

Doesn’t Play Well With Others Today I was privy to a phone conversation that has left me in a complete state of amazement, I mean talk about shock and awe. You tell me what YOU think…Much to my dismay at 7:30 M’s phone rings. Yes 7:30. This Morning. On my day off. Apparently it was his friend confirming that there was a foursome ready to go for a 9 am tee time. This is what I heard: M: Yes we are meeting at 9. B and H are playing with us, you’ve never met them, but they’re great guys, it will be...

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Don’t Quit Your Day Job

Posted on Thursday, December 17th, 2015

Don’t Quit Your Day Job Well I did it. I wrote a book. I sold a book. I am a published author. The day my book came out was one of the highlights of my life. My facebook blew up! I had like 22 comments. WOOT! WOOT! I realized this was the beginning of a new life. I knew that by the end of the next week, I would probably have to give my boss the very sad news that I will be resigning. For one thing, it’s not fair to be needing so much time off for book tours and television appearances. I mean I suppose I could...

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Brand New Boyfriend, Same Old Family Means Holiday Fun

Posted on Sunday, December 6th, 2015

Brand New Boyfriend, Same Old Family Means Holiday Fun Ahh, the holidays. The festivities, the pine tinged air, the twinkling lights, the carol singing, (Please do not knock on my door after 5 PM and start singing carols I will either open the door and laugh my ass off, or depending on how it went at work that day and how many glasses of wine I have downed since returning home,  I may start crying and ask you all to come in and explain Google Analytics to me, because I have been at my job for a year now and I STILL DON’T GET IT and...

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